Melissa's Journal of the First Russia Trip

This is rather lengthy but worth the time! The Lord really worked in Russia and we look forward to what other things He has in store for us.

It was the most stressful, exciting, exhausting and emotional thing I have ever been through. Before we left the Lord gave me many scriptures to help me over the coming days and I want to share those with you. The first one is 1 Kings 18:41-46. This Scripture came to mind before we left. I was feeling tired and run down from being sick for three weeks and from anxiety and nervousness. These verses gave me the hope and strength I needed. Elijah was praying on a mountain for rain to come because they had been in a drought for 3 years. He sent his servant up the mountain seven times to look for a sign of coming rain. The seventh time his servant saw a cloud the size of a man's hand. Elijah told the servant to tell Ahab to leave in his chariot before the rain over took him. It says, "The power of the LORD came upon Elijah and, tucking his cloak into his belt, he ran ahead of Ahab all the way to Jezreel." Ahab was in a chariot and yet God gave Elijah the strength to out run the chariot. This is the strength I prayed for God to give me,to help me through the next week, and He gave it to me many times when I thought I just couldn't do any more.

Another verse He gave me is Psalm 118:17: "I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord." This was my signature verse for the week. I quoted this over and over again when things got scary. I knew the Lord was going to do miraculous things on this trip, so I knew He would get me back home so I could tell my friends and family about it.

A third verse a very special friend gave us at a prayer meeting. She inserted our names in the verse which made it very personal. Psalm 18:28-30: "For You will light my lamp; the Lord my God will enlighten my darkness. For by You I can run against a troop, by my God I can leap over a wall. As for God, His way is perfect; the Word of the Lord is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him." This verse so well-fitted our trip. It felt as if we were going against troops and had to leap over walls. It felt dark and yet God's light was always there and He made the way straight and smooth for us. The word the Lord had spoken to us about this adoption was proved time and time again. And He was definitely our shield!

There are more scriptures that He has given us to help us and remind us of His faithfulness. He has done so many things that I can not list them all. But I hope that all of you will be encouraged and amazed just as we have been through what He has done. My desire when going to Russia was to be a light in that dark world. God showed me that we are like candles walking around in darkness. Those around us are effected by the light we shine. A flame, no matter how small or big, shines a light on the things that are near it, that would other wise be in darkness. The brighter our light is, the more people will be touched by it.

I wish that I could account to you all the numerous things that happened up to this point. It would be pages and pages long of all the things the Lord has done to make this happen. My prayer before we left was that the Lord would just blow my mind with what He wanted to do. And He did! I also prayed for peace that is beyond all understanding. His peace was there every time I needed it. Just when I thought I wasn't going to be able to do any more, He was there to give me that extra measure.

We left the evening of January 17th and traveled all night and the next day to Moscow. It is about 16 hours travel time, but there is a 9 hour time difference so the travel took 25 hours. My first entry in my journal on January 19th:

What a journey the last two days have been! I have never been through anything as crazy, stressful, or challenging as this! Alexander did just fine when we left him at our friends' house. God gave us grace to handle leaving him. I was a ball of anxiety and nervousness though on the way to the airport. I had several moments that I thought I just wasn't going to be able to do this. There is no way I could do it in my own strength. My physical body was a mess. I couldn't eat and wasn't really getting much sleep. I had been sick for several weeks and fighting a sinus infection. I was just not feeling up to it. But every time something needed to be done or I had to go through something stressful or new, the Lord gave me strength and grace...every single time! I felt sick to my stomach a lot and I would just close my eyes and pray and the Lord would cover me, over and over again. The flights were very smooth for which I am so thankful. I was super nervous about getting on a plane again after our flight from Florida two years ago which was a very difficult one. The flight from London to Moscow was delayed an hour, which caused problems when we got to Moscow. We also had to fly around Moscow for about 45 minutes before we were cleared to land. We had to go through customs which was crowded and very stressful for me. It was going to be my first experience speaking with a Russian in their country, but it ended up going smoothly. We got our bags and found Andrei, our driver/translator/mediator. He went to get the car while we waited inside. He said, "Meet me outside at 10 sharp" which was about ten minutes later. It was kind of a shock when we walked outside and waited! It was -22 C which is about -11*F! I haven't felt cold like that before!

We had a hard time finding the apartment building and had a really hard time getting someone on the phone to help us get in. It was very frustrating! It was after midnight before we could get into bed.

Andrei is pretty much all business. He rarely speaks unless it is about adoption related stuff. He knows how to get things done and he's very good at what he does. He also drives like a madman! All the people in Russia do but Andrei has to be among the worst drivers...and he's good at it! We were sort of prepared because we had read posts about him on the agency's website. Someone said, "Get in and close your eyes!" They weren't kidding. He drives very fast, in and out of traffic, and the first time we were out with him he drove on a sidewalk!

This morning we went for our meeting with the department of education (DOE) and I was so nervous! Andrei warned us that they would be invasive and asking lots of questions, which made us more nervous. I still could not eat and we had not slept much so I was very tired and feeling out of sorts. We had to wait 40 minutes before getting called back. During this time another American couple came in and they are adopting a little boy so we were able to pass the time talking to them. We finally went back and the meeting went fine and was not as stressful as expected. We had to answer a few questions about our work, home, and the environment M would be in. After we left we asked Andrei about M and how much he knew about her. He said there are no perfectly healthy children in Russian orphanages and that she is in an orphanage that is particularly for children with severe developmental delays. We asked about the medical conditions that were listed on her referral because they sounded serious. This is what the referral said: deformation of bone-muscle structure with related changes in heart-vessel system which explains that one system ahead of behind in growing, either muscle, bones growing faster , either heart growing faster than bone-muscle structure. He said that was nothing. It meant she was growing like a normal child does, basically it means she's going through growth spurts. He said she is extremely healthy, only very delayed. That helped us feel much better. He also said people never come to visit the children in the orphanages. They never see new people, and not to be upset if she runs away from us, cries, or won't come near us. He said that is perfectly normal, especially towards men because only women work in the orphanages. So while we got good news about her health we didn't know what it meant when they said she is severely delayed. Is she mentally challenged, does she have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, or does she just need a family to love her and care for her? We have to wait until 5pm tomorrow to see her! Ugh! The waiting! We are going to try to meet up with Mary and Sarah from the Moscow Calvary Chapel Bible College tomorrow to do some sightseeing before going to see M.

I was finally able to eat some lunch today, first real meal in about 3 days. I'm trying not to think about Alex or home too much. I do miss him and I don't want to get depressed by thinking about him all the time. I'm not worried about him. I'm sure he's having fun.

January 20, 2010:

Today was a busy day. We've been trying to get our visas registered but it's just not working out. The apartment management is suppose to do it but they are refusing to do it. So we have to find the travel agency who sent us the Russian invitation to have them do it. We went on the metro, the underground subway, to find the place but after hours of searching we could not find it. We did manage to find our friends, however. It was cloudy and a high of 5* today and it was snowing! We met Mary and Sarah at McDonald's and then we walked to Red Square. It was very cold, but it was still fun. I loved seeing the St. Basil Cathedral, especially with the snow on it. It's just as beautiful in person! We only had an hour so it was a very rushed trip. Mary and Sarah are very sweet and so encouraging to be around. I am so glad we met with them and I am looking forward to seeing them again!

All of our running around was exhausting, but there was no time to rest. When we got back to the apartment we had 30 minutes to get ready to see M. Steve was really nervous about meeting M, but oddly (considering the last few days) I was at peace about it.

On the way to the orphanage Andei warned us that the orphanage director is an angry woman and she is crazy! She doesn't want M to be adopted or any child in the orphanage to be adopted. When we asked why, Andrei said there are many reasons why the directors don't want the children to be adopted. Andrei said she would lie and tell us there are many problems with M. She even said M couldn't walk well and was running into walls etc!

When they brought M into the director's office we were taken back a little bit because she didn't look like the picture we had gotten a month ago. We almost thought they brought us the wrong child! She is absolutely adorable! She was gently nudged by an orphanage worker and told to come over to me. She gladly took the stuffed monkey we brought for her and she was all smiles! Her smile is something else! It lights up a room! She hugged me and held on to me the whole time. She played with Steve too, though she did not want to touch him directly. Her smile did not leave her face the entire time. She was very quiet and wouldn't even laugh out loud. She tried to talk to us and we tried to talk to her as best as we could. We thought Andrei would be translating for us but he left the room. We would have to learn how to communicate with her somehow without a translator! She named the monkey "Chi chi" after a monkey in a Russian fairy tale. It was amazing to be with her. She is so sweet and beautiful! Andrei has done many adoptions and even he was raving about her and saying over and over again that she is very cute.

Something really amazing happened that first evening we met her. Let me back up a little bit. The week before we left I had two dreams about M. One was just sweet about getting to hold her. The other dream was about meeting her. In this dream she was about 6-7 years old and she liked Russian poetry. She had written her very first poem and read it to us. When I woke up, there was such peace in my heart. I realized that she was not old enough to write a poem yet but I still thought it was a sweet dream. Well, that evening when we met M, she started talking in Russian and of course we didn't know what she was saying. When she was done speaking, everyone clapped. Andrei then told us she had just said her first poem! Unbelievable! What an amazing God I serve! What a sweet thing for Him to show me! How precious are Your thoughts, O God!

There was no doubt after meeting M that we were going to adopt her. She is amazing. We will let Andrei know in the morning and we will have paper work to do. He said it could be 3 months before getting a court date! Ugh! We have a lot of paper work to get done before we can apply for a court date. I hope it's not that long! I wish I could put everything in here that I am feeling and all that has happened. It has really been amazing!

We will go see M tomorrow at noon for an hour. After we say we want her and sign a paper then we can take pictures and videos. She will also have pictures of us, Alex and our house to help her remember us and prepare her to come home.

January 21, 2010:

Wow. We are completely wiped out and it has been stressful. What a crazy day.

We have been waking up every night around 2:30 and can't go back to sleep for about 3 hours. I had a very hard time getting out of bed this morning. We rushed to go to the DOE again to let them know we want to adopt M, but when we got there we found out the person we needed to see would not be there until 2. So we went to the orphanage to see M. She was all smiles again! We helped her get bundled up to go outside, which was different for us because people in Texas don't wear snowsuits and layers of clothing! It was very very cold out so we didn't stay out long but she went down the slide and walked around with us. She giggled for the first time with us when Steve played peek-a-boo behind a tree. After that we went inside and she showed us her play room, bedroom and bathroom. There were 8-10 other small beds in her room, each had a stuff animal on the bed. In the play room another little girl, who was very talkative, latched on to me. At this point M became more possessive of me, which I think was a good sign. The little girl held my hand while we walked around upstairs and looked so sad when we had to leave her behind. M also gave us a piece of her Christmas candy. We only saw a few children today, but Andrei said there are 54 children in this orphanage and there are over 100 orphanages in Moscow. The ages in this one are from 3-16.

After the tour of the orphanage we gave her a sticker book with farm animals. She really enjoyed it and soon there were stickers clothes and faces! When that got old she put them on Chi Chi her monkey.

After that we said goodbye and headed over to the DOE again. On the way I began to get a migraine. Steve prayed for me and I kept praying while we sat in the office and waited. The flashing light disappeared, but the pain did not come! Several hours later I had a headache but it was when I could eat and sleep it off! God is so good!

We still did not get to meet with the DOE so we came home for an hour and I slept hard. I woke up ten minutes before we had to leave to see M again. My head was only a little sore but I was still so tired.

This night we played with paper dolls with M. She was figuring out quickly how to punch out the dolls and clothes and put them together. Even Andrei commented how good that was. The director had told us we needed to find M a profession that did not require intelligence! Ha! After paper dolls, M had enough and fell asleep on my shoulder. It was just too much for her. That's okay. I just wanted to go to sleep too.

We finally got someone to register our visas, so that's a relief. Things are coming together. I'm trying to eat more but it's still hard and now I feel like I am coming down with a cold or my sinus infection is coming back with a vengeance. This has been a rough week for me physically. God will help me get through it.

And we set up the webcam so we could see Alex, and he could see us and we could talk. He is doing really awesome, and seems very happy. He seemed to be more interested in seeing himself on the computer than seeing us. Ha ha! I miss him but I am glad he's doing so well.

January 22, 2010:

Our last day in Moscow was no different than the rest: very busy! Andrei's driving has gotten worse and crazy as the week as progressed. Today he missed his turn, so he backed up into oncoming traffic to make the turn! I guess anything goes in Moscow!

We visited with M for 4 hours this morning, and this time we went to a different room. We were alone with her and M showed us a completely different side! She was being very cute, laughing out loud, teaching us the Russian alphabet. She pretended to be her teacher which was very funny! But it got out of hand and we had to force her to sit and settle down. She is testing us to see what she can get away with. She would not act that way in front of any of the staff because they wouldn't let her get away with it. We have found she can be defiant and stubborn. We will have our hands full! She just needs some love, attention and discipline.

After that there was no time to eat lunch. We had to go get the paperwork notarized, and when that done we went back to the orphanage to see M for the last time this trip. When we got to the orphanage we were motioned down the hall and seated in a room where the children were putting on a play. We had missed most of it, and we could not understand it because of course it was in Russian. However, the children did very well with remembering their lines and with their acting. These are severely developmentally delayed children? Right after the play they served pierogies and they were good. Afterwards we found M and she was in a princess dress with her hair in a bow and white sparkling shoes on. Obviously these clothes were for special occasions only. We tried to tell her she looked beautiful but I don't know if she understood. On the way back to the teacher's room, where we had been earlier in the day, I saw several Russian children I would have loved to brought back home! They are all beautiful and deserve to have a loving home. One boy who was probably 3 asked us (in Russian) what our names are and if we are American. These kids are smart! In the teacher's room M began to get a little wild again. When I tried to teasingly take something from her she went to slap my hand. She also threw things at us, all in play, but it was not good. She also said no to us a lot. There was wax fruit in the cabinet and she was taking bites out of them. It became a game to her because she was getting attention, even if it wasn't good attention. Oi. It was a tough day. I will admit I had my doubts about taking her home but the Lord has made it so clear that this is His will and He will help us handle her when the time comes. I do worry about bringing her home, and how she will do with Alex, but it will work out. God is faithful. I was kind of surprised at myself when I cried after saying goodbye to her. I didn't realize that I had become so attached to her. Who knew spending 15 hours with a child would tear me up to leave? I wonder if she has any idea what's going on.

We leave for the airport in 3 1/2 hours. Then we wait there for four hours before we board the plane. If the plane is on time and we make the subway on time in London then we will try to go see Buckingham Palace during our layover. I really like Moscow and my heart goes out to all the people there. They need Jesus. I will miss M but I know she is well taken care of until we return for her. The Lord worked on the director's heart and she is perfectly fine with us adopting M. She is just really protective of the children in the orphanage.

Looking forward to getting home and seeing my precious boy! I have missed him. It has been the most exciting, stressful, difficult week of my life. I don't understand the Lord's purpose in adopting this little girl, but it is very evident that He wants us to do it and that the enemy does not. It's been a week full of spiritual warfare like we have never experienced before. But war or not, I want to do the Lord's will. That's my heart's desire, and He will give me everything I need to accomplish it!

January 24,1010:

The trip home seemed very long. The flights were smooth, but I was getting very tired and sore from sitting in the plane. Our flight from Moscow to London arrived early enough that we got to go see Buckingham Palace, changing of the guards, Westminster Abbey, Houses of Parliament, Big Ben and Green Park, all in two hours. It was about 42*, so it was warm compared to Moscow but still pretty cool when walking outdoors for two hours. I am glad we were able to go sightseeing. It was fun and we don't know if we will get that opportunity again.

When we picked up Alexander he seemed pretty excited to see us, but he didn't want to leave. He was stalling. I am glad he had a good time with our friends and they seemed to really enjoy having him there.